Promise...

Promise..
Swear...
Take an oath...
Give a word...


Whats the fun of taking or making, when you cant keep them?
And if you really have no intention of violating them, whats the need to make them?

Goal is flexible...Plans are flexible... Descisions are flexible...
Destination is flexible...Path is flexible...Mode of journey is also flexible...

And amongst all these flexibles,
promise is onething that needs to be kept...
Promise is onething that is meant to be kept...
Promise is onething that is made to prevent ourselves from violating it...

Need of a promise arises only when you are constantly doing something which you dont intend to.
Need of a promise arises only when you want yourself to bind yourself to do something.


When you dont put effort to keep them...
When you dont care to watch if any of your deeds is violating a promise..
Then what really is the purpose of it? Whats the fun of making and breaking promises??



Take an oath that you dont promise things you cant keep or dont believe in keeping them...And that you will put your life to keep those you make...

And if you dont believe that you will keep this oath, then try the easiest of all---- Promise that you dont make any further promises in your life...That you will have no commitments.
But then, dont demand more that you get...b'coz , then, you dont deserve what you wish to get.

[.......shrug]

I can witness a lot of change in me..

I find myself shedding off my laziness and taking charge of things...Almost everything!!

I find things happening as per my orders...my orders in the truest sense...without the influence of others!

I find myself dealing with things without avoiding them as I was used to.

I find myself clear...free from many many confusions that have been baffling me since long.





I now feel....
that there is nothing left to continue to think about...
Whats left is--
transforming what exists...
and creating what doesn't exist!!

my love...

I love her.
I know what all she has done for me. Its because of her that I am like this now. But what do I do for her?
Manipulate things and erect a false portrait?{sr} I hate myself.
Create problems for her? Become a problem for her?(She will never feel so-But it doesn't cease to be truth, right?)Damn it.

What do I really do for her, though I claim to do many many things for her(Medicine, Medicines,'Psychological sharing of burdens' ...Funny, isn't it?)


My life...Love it more than her..
But is my life different from hers? She has given me life!!
Then what do I really expect me to do to prove that I Love my Life??
I AM happy, right?

My proffession...Want to love it..but cant!!
Want to give my everything for it, but dont!!
Because for me, everything else is also important--friends, their feelings and emotions; people and their opinions on me, my attire, my attitude, my academics, my appearance; my poetry; my portrait; my pleasures; Comments; compliments; Compassion; Consideration; Consolation; Domination; Competence...What not??

I want everything.
I wany everything.
Cant I get them all??