huh
rayadaniki matram em migilindi


nenu naku eppudaina okkasaraina nachutana


Nannu nenu tittukoni roju ikkataina untunda?


sam
sam
sam
sam
sam

sam

no
no
no


no
entidi
entidi


I dont know
I dont know
I dont know
I dont know
I dont know








why do I hate everything
why do I hat e everyone
why do I hate my existence.


Its just as if I'm waiting for my own destruction. Its like I'm waiting for myself to build enough courage to kill myself.

enti nenu ila tayaraipoyanu??


Ippudu light teesukuni repu badha padala??


NO WAY.

Ee roju jariginde jariginatlu
lekapote lenatle
ante ante ante
ante ante ante
ante ante ante


ippudu nenu kurchuni chesinde chesinatlu


thats it

how many itmes will you stare at that paper?

You cant create marks, can you?

If you dont represent everything you know, on that paper... who is gonna help you?





40 marks ku attempt chesina vallu oka 2 marks tappu cheste vallaku pedda teda padadu. 25 marks ku paper rasi 4 marks telisi kuda tappu raste evaridi badhyata??

hyp cong pyloric stenosis

now is ur time
waht you learn now is your strength.


GET STRONGER EVERY MOMENT

to be done

sort and organize

laptop
books
all collections---books papers articles novels cds
notes and material
clothes
other items

downloads... list them all and complete
diaries.


PLAN N BOOST

SATURATION VACHESTONDOOOOOOCH!


ee roju sangati chudu mundu. tarvati sangati tarbvata.
look at this golden moment dear. it is all yours dont waste it

HANDLE CHEYAGALIGINA VAADIDE SUCCESS.

what am I split in between?

Is it a sin to dream?
Is is all out of my bounds? Out of my reach?
Is it wrong to think of becoming better?

Am I bound to perish?
Are pleasure and confidence banned from my arena?

am I entitled only to pain panic disgust and depression.


Should I live with all these dirty ill feelings?
Oh how long?

Inka ennallu--- ee vyatha veedana baadha nissattuva narakam







I hate this life. I cant stand it any longer.





Am I waiting for some magic to set all things right for me at the moment, right now, right away?
cant I make things possi ble now?
wjhy do I fail in all of my attempts?
why is it as if someone is trying constantlly and consistently to make me fail utterly in all my attempts by whatsoevr means to nibble off the budding hope and strangthen my hatred for this life?

Is it wrong to dream?

Am I unfit and inccapable to dream of such things and think of making them real?


IS EVERYTHING OVER NOW?


Do I have nothing in my life with me now?




What is igt that I have to do now?

What is it that I need to do now?>



what is wron wiht me?
waht is wrong with my ways/




i lose all hope now?
I have no desire to face this world or ots people
I am all lost.

I'm not wiht myself


I'm worse than dead.


what am I trapped amidst?


what is it that I can do?

Is there anything in life that I can do now/

is there anything in me that can keep me alive?
Or is it all trash? is that all ash?

alll the empty minutes
all the lifeless breaths
all those vain attempts
all those vague realities


This pool of tears
these tonnes of fears

unmeasurable pain
unbearable torture




is this all I have for my life/



naa aashalanni chachipotunnay.
naku kalalu kane dhairyam leduppudu.
vastavalloki tongi chuse sthairyam antakanna ledu.



nakem modalupettalani kuda ledu.
pustakam teravalantene bhayamestondi.

malli tattukolenu. I cant bear it all again.



i just cant.
I JUST CANT.


oh marcipoyanu.
avnu ade devudu nakichina pedda varam.
I can forget. I can forget that something wrong has ever happened.
i can feel as fine as I had always been.



hope another avalanche doesn't set in, hope another small failure wouldn't get so big on me to smash all the life in me.

perhaps I've to redefine my definitions of success and failure.

perhaps I'm not that great or capable to do all those things I want to do.
Perhaps I'm petty, and I have to live with all petty desires of 1 2 under everything.
perhaps that is all I'm capable of.
Perhaps that is all I can expect from myself and my life.

Perhaps this would satisfy the imagined invisible being who is trying to ruin me.
Perhaps this would be enough to make myself immune to his assaults.



































IF I CANNOT RUN, IF I CANNOT WALK, THEN i'LL CRAWL ATLEAST... ITS BETTER THAN STANDING STILL,NO?

I SET OUT NOW.


MY WILL IS STRONG. IT COMES FROM THE CORE WITHIN ME. AND CORE IS SOMETHING THAT IS ALL INFLUENTIAL BUT UNINFLUENCED.


WATCH.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS 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Ekkuva vaddu. Bld. Endocrines. Msk. Poisioning

Enti ee acute symptoms sam? Ila bhayapadite bagupadatavanna feeling emaina unda stupid

Vallu badhapadutunnaru veellu edustunnaru...my foot.

Eppudu vallu veellu antena. Nuvvodda neeku. Inkennellu? Ala vadileyaleva? Undedi oke okka roju, danni kuda pogottukuntava?

Chesi sadhinchedemaina unda? Evvariki nuvvoddu. Neeku kuda nuvvodda? Alantappudu enduku bratikunnav? Po chachipo.


I want u to work for me, for none else. I want u to grieve for me, atleast for once, atleast 4 now.


Chalu prapanchaniki ichina time.
.


Neeku andari edupulu kanipistaye naadi kanipinchada,

evari badha tattukolev, nannu matram enduku pattinchukovu?
Nenante neeku lekka leda?

Vallevariki nuvvoddu. Edustav vallandari kosam, gantalu rojulu samvatsaralu...

Edavamani valladigara ediste vallakemaina vastunda? Valla kosam nee sarvaswanni marchipoyi edustav. Vallaku nuvoddani telisi edustav.

Atleast ne concern ku consideration ku kuda nochukoleda nenu? Nenodda neeku? Am i unwanted? Nuvvu nannu care cheyaka poina ippatidaka ninnodalledu nenu. Alanti nannu nuvvu akkaraledu nuvvante nashtam nuvvunte kashtam ane vari kosam badhapadutu marchi potava?

Badha padadam goppanukuntunnava? Tyagasheeli vi ani anip4ochukovalanukuntunnava? Leka ademaina tikka? Telivi takkuvatanam adi telusuko.

If u wanted to punish ur self, u have suffered enough. It has costed u enough.

Inka nee time anta naadi. Telusuko, naa meeda invest chesina ee moment vrudha podu. I wil return it back, u know it pretty well.

Prapancham chudadaniki matrame undi. Matladadanikg matrame umdi. Jaali padadanikh matrame undi. Navvu kovadaniki matrame undi.

Daaniki neeto paniledu. Nuvu unna lekapoina poddu podustundi poddu kunkutundi. Nenu needaina korikanu. Nenu matrame nee sontam. Ninneppatiki veediponi nestanni, ninneppatikh nirasha parachani chaitranni. Cheekati lo velugu nu. Badha ln odarpunu. Kashtam lo kanti tudupv nu. Nispruha lo aashanu. Nene nee sontham nenokkatn nee sontham. Naato cherite swargbnni andista. Vastava???

Naa gontu nulimey,

ante. artham kadu.

Chala samayallo ado rakanga tikkaga tayaravadam enduko...?!
How should I come out of such situations?

buddhi bhrashtam...huh!

I think I know what to do.
I think I know what my mistake is.
evvarito matladakunda naa prapanchamlone trap aipoinappudu----- buddhi kuda kunchinchukupoindemo. em jarugutondo telusukolenanta tikka. evaraina cheppina talakekkananta tikka.

Its unhealthy.
Ilanti unhealthy habits and thoughts unnappude alaanti tappulu.

Am i out of it now?
Atleast all this is not stale and stagnant. Flowing thoughts wash away the waste, no??

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whom am i cheating?

huh!

AAHA AAHA ENNI DAAAAAAAARULU VEDUKKUNTUNNAV SAM NINNU NUVVU TRUPTI PARUCHUKOVADANIKI.

REALIZE THAT THEY ARE ALL TEMPORARY
REALIZE THAT THEY ARE ALL STUPID

YOU ARE WASTING YOUR VALUABLE TIME
YOU ARE WASTING YOUR VALUABLE TIME

YOU ARE SPILLING IT
U R LETTING IT DRAIN AS SULLAGE





YOU WILL NOT HAVE IT AGAIN SAM

IF YOU WASTE IT NOW, YOU WILL NEVER HAVE IT AGAIN
u WILL NEVER HAVE WAHT YOU WANT AGAIN.


iPPATIKI KOLPOINDI CHALU. INKA KOLPOVADDU. DONT

IPPATIDAKA NUVVU CHEYALEKA POINA, KOLPOINA VATANNINTINI TALCHUKUNI BADHA PADADAM MANESAV. LIGHT TEESUKUNNAV. YOU HAVE FORGIVEN URSELF. You have accepted yourself again.
IPPUDU NUVVU ENNI FOOSISH PANULU CHESINA NINNU NUVVU KSHAMINCHUKOGALAVU kuda.


Kani ee 1 month poorthiga utilize chesukoledani neeku anipiste matram you cant forgive yourself sam

realize
sit
close your eyes
imagine yourself blank and indrawn. Imagine the scene when you suddenly realize that everything is over and you are left with nothing....

Now imagine peace. imagine satisfaction. Imagine joy.

what do you want sam. it is alll in ur hands sam. use this month.




HERE AFTER, DONT DO ANYTHING THAT TAKES YOU AWAY FROM THE BEST YOU COULD DO IN THESE 30 DAYS.

JUST DO NOT

YOUR TIME STARTS NOW DEAR.



NO OTHER MISTAKE IS UNFORGIVABLE NOW. THE ONLY THING FOR WHICH YOU WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOURSELF IN YOUR LIFE IS WASTING THESE 30 DAYS.



WORK
NOW.

Oh I'm happpy. BecaUSE i HAVE STARTED TO READ. nOW I UNDERSTAND EVERYWORD i READ... AND i EVEN SEE THINGS GETTING COMPLETED.



:)


dont get lost by this piece of peace dear. you have to keep it perpetuating. YOU HAVE TO

IT IS YOUR DUTY

Aei...

parushapu maatale neeku sari

Shaasinche nestanike nee meeda control.
So ee maata vinalsinde tappadu. Ee roju padukoneloga, pathology of conception and contraception aipovalsinde.


jagratta.

Sam
sam
Sam

Sam

what is this?
WHAT IS THIS?