Why does this always happen?
I hate the way I am.
I hate the way I deal with things.
I feel I dont act when I need to.. that I dont act the way I need to...whatever may be the issue, I never feel like approving my acts
I never feel satisfied about the way I behaved.
I hate every deed of mine.
I feel bad about every reaction of mine.
I become so agitated that my mind gets blocked and loses all ability and stability to be rational and reasonable.
When I say something, and sit back to think about it, I never agree to what I said. I am very likely to cross and contradict my own statements. I hate this difference between what I really feel and what I say.
Why dont I approve what I say? Why cant I say what I approve?
Why dont I approve what I do? Why cant I do what I approve?
Why does this disparity really exist? I am a single person and not two---one who does and another who judges!! But why this disparity??
Even if I find myself wrong, I think I do have the courage to admit that I am wrong and confess it...But I cant forgive myself for being wrong...I just cant.
These thoughts paralyse me more than the actual consequences of my deeds
