A change..

March 19, 2009

I believe
That the problem is deep

I believe
that my misery now,
is neither a single day’s mishap
Nor a consequence of a single wrong decision

I believe
that the problem is deep.

I believe
that it has its roots
In age old habits

I believe
that it has its origin
in ever cherished feelings
Of reluctance

I believe
that the problem lies with
unchallenged tendencies
Of being easily influenced
and universally yielding..

If I’ve identified myself right,Then

The solution to all my problems is 'Change'

Change into uniqueness
Change into a discrete core…
Change into an existing reality..

Change into a being--
With a character of her own
With beliefs, behaviour; Accent, attitude
Of her own,

All uninfluenced---
By the world around
Or its rules;
By the people around
Or their expectations...

I want toLive as myself
Unaltered…and unalterable
Undestroyed…and undestroyable

I want
Unique and unified
Me.

oph

I dont know what to write

I dont know what to talk of today's performance
In fact I dont want to talk abt this
I dont want to talk abt anything

I really dont want to.




A million things are going on in my mind
But I am deliberately trying to ignor them
Coz I believe---want to believe that nothing in this world matters except work
Feelings emotions.....everything
I dont even want to list anything
I dont want to think of them even for the purpose of making a list of them.
I dont know if I am right
I dont know if I am forcing myself into a wrong way
I dont know


I dont know

I dont want to know
I dont want to try to know


I will listen to myself again only when I satisfy self

I dont like this either
I dont like anything
I dont like anything

ANYTHING

I dont know what to write


I dont want to write anything





It occurs to me that i must use my brain and guide myself...guide these sentences and words in a 'productive way'...




I dont want to

I dont

I dont.





Oh my god, I want to get away from it atleast here...
No I dont want to run aaway from my own problems

I dont like to









































How many 'dont's' are there on this page???!!!!!!

Lunacy!!!

I am lucky

Luckiest girl in the world
For having this place for myself
For having this for my own self

For having a space
All to myself

To scribble anything
To write any trash I wish to

Ha!
Am I a patient of psychiatry?

People would make me anything they like




But they are not the dictators of my life

They are not the dictators...







I own myself
I own myself

I own every moment of my life
I own every move of mine
I own every thought of mine
I own every virtue of mine
I own every vice of mine
I own every dream of mine
I own every desire of mine
I own every inch of my soul
I own myself





this is all my property







This is all my property






I can do any thing I want with my life
No one has got any right or control over it



Its my life



I have got responsibilities
I have got responsibility
to give them the correct harvest




















I know

But I can keep up my responsibilities only when I am contented with myself

Only when I will be satisfied with myself






I must satisfy myself first





I must satisfy myself first



I need stisfaction
I need satisfaction